Tis the season for holiday-themed movies and songs! I'll admit I'm usually a sucker for Christmas music (particularly instrumental). And I have a list of Christmas movies I watch every year. However, there are some things that just don't work. Here are some of my personal gripes with holiday pop culture.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Why is Santa such a jerk in this movie? He's perfectly fine with the other reindeer shunning Rudolph for his shiny red nose, even telling Donner he should be ashamed of himself because his offspring is defective. He basically tells the head elf that the song all the elves sing for Santa sucks. I get that by the end of the movie everyone has learned their lesson and accepts Rudolph. Still, this Santa seems anything but jolly.
The Christmas Shoes
Schmaltzy and with a tune that gets stuck in your head, the worst thing about this song is that it doesn't even make any sense. The little boy's mother is dying. Why, then, is he out, BY HIMSELF, on Christmas Eve, with no money, trying to buy shoes? So she looks beautiful for Jesus? I'm pretty sure Jesus doesn't care. Where is this kid's dad? His other family members? Do they even know where he is? Also, what little boy knows his mother's shoe size?
It's a Wonderful Life
I love this movie, and I watch it every year, but one thing has always bothered me. In the world without George Bailey, all sorts of things have gone wrong. Potter has taken over Bedford Falls, George's little brother died as a child because George wasn't there to save him, the pharmacist accidentally poisoned a kid and served 20 years in jail, etc. Then there's George's wife, Mary. Her terrible alternate future is...she's single and works at the library! The horror! In a movie that is otherwise timeless, this is one part that just doesn't work when viewed through a more modern lens.
Santa Baby
In addition to the fact that the Madonna version makes my ears bleed, are we supposed to believe that Santa is sexy? Or is it just that the narrator wants a whole lot of expensive junk and confused Santa for a sugar daddy? Either way, anytime I hear this song in a store during the holiday season, I can't get out the door fast enough. Surefire way to lose my business, so retailers, take note.
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Judy Garland is the only person allowed to sing this song. The end.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Look! Roller Coasters!
Last week I attended a conference in Indiana. This required me to drive through Chicago, which meant my life was threatened several times...
...by Illinois drivers.
Granted, Florida drivers are worse (at least in my experience), but there's nothing like being tailgated by a semi in a 45 mph construction zone when the flow of traffic is going at least 70. Construction zones are also perilous because, despite the signs signalling lane closures at least a mile in advance of said lane closure, some idiot always waits until the very last second to move over. I had two near-miss accidents because of this stupidity.
This trip was actually better than my last trip through Chicago, though, because at least it wasn't raining.
There is one stretch of I-94 north, however, where traffic slows down considerably, every time, without fail. This phenomenon is the result of one thing - roller coasters.
I-94 passes right by Six Flags: Great America, and you'd think none of the people in any of the cars on the road had ever seen an amusement park before by the amount of rubbernecking that goes on. I was fortunate enough to pass through this stretch of road in light traffic, but I imagine the gradual slowing down and even, in some cases, braking, that goes on would be hazardous in heavy traffic.
I wonder if any attorneys have had car accident cases in Illinois where a fender bender was caused by Six Flags gawking.
...by Illinois drivers.
Granted, Florida drivers are worse (at least in my experience), but there's nothing like being tailgated by a semi in a 45 mph construction zone when the flow of traffic is going at least 70. Construction zones are also perilous because, despite the signs signalling lane closures at least a mile in advance of said lane closure, some idiot always waits until the very last second to move over. I had two near-miss accidents because of this stupidity.
This trip was actually better than my last trip through Chicago, though, because at least it wasn't raining.
There is one stretch of I-94 north, however, where traffic slows down considerably, every time, without fail. This phenomenon is the result of one thing - roller coasters.
I-94 passes right by Six Flags: Great America, and you'd think none of the people in any of the cars on the road had ever seen an amusement park before by the amount of rubbernecking that goes on. I was fortunate enough to pass through this stretch of road in light traffic, but I imagine the gradual slowing down and even, in some cases, braking, that goes on would be hazardous in heavy traffic.
I wonder if any attorneys have had car accident cases in Illinois where a fender bender was caused by Six Flags gawking.
Friday, September 21, 2012
This is a post about cats
I have a cat. Her name is Artemis.
She is three years old, grey tabby, part-American Short Hair, part-Siamese. Her mother was a feral cat, and she was found with her brothers and sisters in a barn (she was the runt). She has a very squeaky meow and doesn't see very well due to her aforementioned hybrid status. She enjoys looking out the window and playing fetch with toy mice.
She also likes to wake me up in the middle of the night for no reason.
See, like most cats, she is generally smarter than humans and thus realizes that I, being a sucker, will probably give her some attention if only she's annoying enough.
Thinking about my cat's nighttime habits made me wonder about my relationship with pets. While I don't go so far as to think of my cat as my child (although calling my mom "Grandma" as a joke was pretty hilarious), and I think the PETA people who refer to cats and dogs as "animal companions" instead of pets are kind of silly, my cat is still important to me. If something happened to me, I'd want to make sure someone would take care of her.
I got a flyer in the mail recently about a continuing legal education seminar addressing estate planning for pets. When I was in law school, my trusts and estates professor actually talked about how she had provided for her pets in her will. Someone had been designated as their caretaker, and she set aside some money specifically for their care. Most states permit people to do this now. Pets, like other property, can be bequeathed to a trust.
Planning for what happens to pets when you're no longer there to care for them has become an increasingly visible topic in the news, too. I heard a broadcast on NPR the other day about pet estate planning, and several other major news sources have done stories on this as well.
Too often, if people don't have a plan for who's going to take care of their pet once they're gone, those pets end up in shelters. And I think we all know what happens when shelters are too overcrowded. No one wants their beloved pet to end up in a Sarah McLachlan commercial.
Hopefully, this won't be an issue for me for many years. In the meantime, I'll be the one tossing tiny toy mice around my apartment at 4AM.
She is three years old, grey tabby, part-American Short Hair, part-Siamese. Her mother was a feral cat, and she was found with her brothers and sisters in a barn (she was the runt). She has a very squeaky meow and doesn't see very well due to her aforementioned hybrid status. She enjoys looking out the window and playing fetch with toy mice.
She also likes to wake me up in the middle of the night for no reason.
See, like most cats, she is generally smarter than humans and thus realizes that I, being a sucker, will probably give her some attention if only she's annoying enough.
Thinking about my cat's nighttime habits made me wonder about my relationship with pets. While I don't go so far as to think of my cat as my child (although calling my mom "Grandma" as a joke was pretty hilarious), and I think the PETA people who refer to cats and dogs as "animal companions" instead of pets are kind of silly, my cat is still important to me. If something happened to me, I'd want to make sure someone would take care of her.
I got a flyer in the mail recently about a continuing legal education seminar addressing estate planning for pets. When I was in law school, my trusts and estates professor actually talked about how she had provided for her pets in her will. Someone had been designated as their caretaker, and she set aside some money specifically for their care. Most states permit people to do this now. Pets, like other property, can be bequeathed to a trust.
Planning for what happens to pets when you're no longer there to care for them has become an increasingly visible topic in the news, too. I heard a broadcast on NPR the other day about pet estate planning, and several other major news sources have done stories on this as well.
Too often, if people don't have a plan for who's going to take care of their pet once they're gone, those pets end up in shelters. And I think we all know what happens when shelters are too overcrowded. No one wants their beloved pet to end up in a Sarah McLachlan commercial.
Hopefully, this won't be an issue for me for many years. In the meantime, I'll be the one tossing tiny toy mice around my apartment at 4AM.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Beating Writer's Block
I've gotten away from blogging for the past few months. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, I've been doing more journaling and creative writing - writing for myself, so to speak.
Two, I've been lacking in ideas.
It seems unbelievable, really. It's an election year; there should be plenty of material from which to draw inspiration. Any writing, even if no one reads it, is good practice, and reflecting on current events and politics via the written word has always helped me gain perspective. So why the writer's block?
I don't know, really. I've thought about it and haven't been able to come up with any real answers. All I know is, spending more time writing seems a better use of my free hours than marathoning Downton Abbey and trying to beat Mario Kart Wii for the second time.
So, my goal for the fall is to set aside time every week for blogging. We'll see how many posts I actually manage to publish between now and Christmas.
Two, I've been lacking in ideas.
It seems unbelievable, really. It's an election year; there should be plenty of material from which to draw inspiration. Any writing, even if no one reads it, is good practice, and reflecting on current events and politics via the written word has always helped me gain perspective. So why the writer's block?
I don't know, really. I've thought about it and haven't been able to come up with any real answers. All I know is, spending more time writing seems a better use of my free hours than marathoning Downton Abbey and trying to beat Mario Kart Wii for the second time.
So, my goal for the fall is to set aside time every week for blogging. We'll see how many posts I actually manage to publish between now and Christmas.
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